34 Weeks

It is snowing here and I just got back from my appointment. Blood pressure, weight, fundus, everything looks great. They are going to start making me come in starting at my 36 week mark twice a week for this thing called a Non-Stress Test. This test is where you sit for 30 minutes strapped to a monitor while they listen to the baby's heartbeat while it moves. Um, yah, the doctor said it is just to make sure everything is ok since I have this high risk diagnosis of gestational diabetes. In the same breathe, I asked her "where would you say I am in the scheme of things with this GD?" Where she stated " Oh your numbers are normal, looking good, nothing wrong".

Then why the hell do I have to STRESS myself out trying to come in twice a week, rearrange my work schedule for these damn NSTs? Well, they scheduled them, but that doesn't mean I'm going. They are not covered under the Global Pregnancy Fee, nor are ultrasounds and my insurance doesn't cover any of it. Hear that? They cover nothing and at $72 twice a week, plus one more U/S for $500 for a total of four weeks, plus $70 for 100 blood glucose strips when I have to test 4 times a day (I've already spent $140 on these), yep, that makes baby unaffordable. Maybe Dan and I should consider adoption so that we can afford to pay all these frickin' bills? All of the fun is being sucked right out of being pregnant and having a baby. I need to look into different options for the second kid, like a midwife and a birth center. I'm done with this damn hospital doctor shit.

Again, like I said, that doesn't mean I have to go in to these appointments. I know I'll feel guilty if I don't, but there is NOTHING wrong and they say one thing (your great! everything lookin' right on track!) and do another (We fear your baby is in distress, you have to come twice a week to get these non stress tests, strapped to a machine for 30 harrowing minutes, hoping they say she isn't dead). Anyway, I'm just super stressed out, once again, and as they were standing there scheduling my appointments I started balling my eyes out. What do you expect from an eight month pregnant woman on a snowy day having mood swings? They deserved that show for sure.

I've asked about my laptop at work, it is so essential now that I get it by my 36th week mark because there is no way I can keep driving back and forth, changing around my schedule, trying to fit 40 hours a week in. It is really really wearing me out. If I had my laptop, I could work from home. It is starting to piss me off. Tomorrow, I'm telling my boss about all these new appointments and we'll see what she has to say then.

Other than that, I am feeling great physically, just a little more tired, a little nausea, my hands are tingly, but nothing adverse going on. I am still doing the eliptical and walking when it's not freezing and snowy out. Baby is moving great. We have a meeting with the doula tonight. I don't really feel up to it, I'm going to have to tell her everything. Wish I could just send her an email instead. Here is a picture at 34 weeks.